Friday, October 30, 2009

daughter father intimacy

She did not suspect, that her father could even dream of making sexual advances at her. However, whilst at Sefwi Boodi, her father had intimacy with her several times resulting in a pregnancy, which produced a baby boy who is now two ...Each time a prospective suitor swerved away from Ou Hong, her father couldn't help but remind her to warm the hues of her face a little. He would clumsily jest, a�?Have they borrowed your rice and repaid with chaff? ... How could he speak to her with such a casual intimacy? *. Chen Yiping was the neighbor boy's name, and the Political Institute was their neighborhood. The last time she spoke to him was 1966. He was ten. She was eight, until then a spoiled little princess ...Eastwood was a growing colliery village of around 5000 inhabitants: there were ten pits within easy walking distance, and a massive majority of the male population were colliers (Lawrence's father and all three paternal uncles worked down the pit). ..... and Bert's recovery, led her to identify her hopes and emotions with her youngest son to an extent which she had never done before; he came back to a new and very significant kind of intimacy with his mother. ...It is from this place of prayer and intimacy with the Lord that we will find the courage, specific direction, and strength to understand and actually do what He is calling us to do! While not everyone will be called to do the same thing ...Now we are living in separate homesa�� and it seems that she wants to come back to the family life, and so does our daughter. Maybe you do need to split up for real, so that she knows what she is giving up. ... You can still be a great father . Sharon C says: October 27, 2009 at 7:33 am. You sound terribly depressed. Understandably so. I think perhaps it's time to move on. Isn't this only pro-longing the inevitable? Believe it or not, you will find love again. ...Instead, I will hope to simply be her dad by being recklessly abandoned to that very idea - that by being completely me, she'll love me in a way that a daughter loves her father and as a result we'll have a close bond that I'll treasure ...Sokurov is undoubtedly correct that we in the West, especially Americans and the British, tend to read sex into instances of intense nonsexual intimacy. A sturdy handshake is as much as we might wish to see between a father and his ...The intimacy quotient is at its peak among new lovers. Remember those days when you a�?just couldn't get enough of each othera�?? The passionate phase makes way for the more compassionate love which is more meaningful and satisfying. .... MUZAFFARNAGAR: Leading Islamic seminary Darul Uloom Deoband has declared the marriage of a 37-year-old man with his teenaged daughter in West. Bengal as null and void and ruled that the girl's impregnation by her father will be treated as ...She ate a French fry off my plate (always a sign of intimacy). And at her front door a�� the BIG moment a�� she let me kiss her goodnight. It was not a big kiss mind you. And lips only. But it wasn't the handshake and a�?I had a really fun time ... But on date #2 I met her father. These are always awkward encounters. They look at you like you're going to knock up their daughter, get her hooked on heroin, and coerce her into joining a cult. We are always assuring them that we're ...That's all it took for me to feel the closeness of being as dear to her as her own daughter. This is what we were created fora��small tender gestures, gentle moments of being seen and known and, as they say, loved anyway. ... It is a huge risk of intimacy. One of our mentors had her heart broken last year when the child disappeared from Waco with not a word. We later found that his Mother had taken him to Dallas, because his step-father was soon to be paroled from prison to ...
I have been married a short time and it seems to me like sex and intimacy are completely non-existant for me and my husband and I dont know how to fix it. The reasons behind it may vary and may not be a I think. Its easy to say just seduce your husband or get over it but its not quite so easily done. The circumstances are........before I was with my husband I was completely innocent, I'd never been sexually involved with anyone. My husband and I were sexually active before we married. He had vast experience and is older than me and for a number of years had been using internet sex, porn, random sex as a release but saw it as nothing more than sex.......I believe for my husband there is not an emotional connection during sex because for so long sex has just been about busting a nut. I dont believe he can differentiate between loving sex and sex for sex's sake. He has mentioned before there's some things you just dont do with your wife which I think is rubbish if there's anyone you should be doing it with it's your wife!!. As a married woman theres so many things I haven't experienced that I wish I had, so many times I wish I could just say *&!% it and take the initiative but I dont. I have never spent a day in bed with my husband or woke up naked with him or been kissed properly for no reason or had any type of romance. By romance I dont mean things or flowers or any of that stuff because things like that dont fuss me terribly but it'd be nice to be complimented or feel loved or get suprised anything really....it doesn't happen. I believe I am to blame as well when we met I hadn't been with anyone and had no experience, that does not mean I am a prude, I am open to just about anything but I think because of my history he just doesn't bring anything up, I was initially shy just because it was a new situation for me and maybe that shyness turned him off me. We also have a small child who requires a lot of attention and care often I'm tired although I always make an effort to spend at least some time with my husband every day, but I dont think he see's me past the diapers and milk and crying :-). Sex and intimacy has been lacking in our relationship for so long now that it almost feels useless bringing it up and I miss it I really do. I dont know how to change things around because to be honest I have no experience of anything like this. I dont know if my husband just isn't attracted to me or is out of love with me. Something I keep thinking is when our relationship began my husband done some dishonest things that we have since worked through............it did hurt me a lot though and shattered my confidence, I believe he feels guilty for treating me like that and as a result stays with me through guilt and obligation because he is a good person and doesn't like to see people wronged, he knows how hurt I was and how much I love him and I believe he just doesn't want to hurt me and now we have our daughter he wants to be there for her and be a father, I just dont feel that any of these reasons are enough to stay in a loveless, sexless marriage. I dont know that things can be changed but I took my vows seriously and I love my husband so I would like to try before it gets too late............where do I start?? any ideas?? I have spoken to him about the intimacy and he always says he loves me and our family but things remain the same. I just want a normal healthy relationship, I love my husband and want to be intimate with him.....at some point every day I want to be close to my husband, I want to fall asleep in his arms (preferably after sex!), I want to wake up next to him, I want to kiss him and have a great sex life........but we dont............advice?
sunshine- while I hardly think 2 questions constitutes every other day I do see the point about denial but I did take my vows seriously and it is difficult to make decisions on something so important sometimes different opinions help and I do take all of them onboard.


My husband and I are recently married and we have just had a beautiful daughter. My husband is a fantastic father and would do anything for his daughter, I just wish he was as good a husband as he is a father. Our relationship has outside stresses at the moment, work, financial, family etc but I dont think these things should affect our relationship to the extend they do. I have just had our daughet 2 weeks ago so I am not working at the moment and feel like a burden on my husband even though he'd never admit it. The major issue for me isn't any of this though its the fact that there is no intimacy in our relationship.............I keep trying to convince myself it will get better when things get back to normal but dont know if I am kidding myself when there is something else at the route of it. The facts are this year we have had sex 4 times.............one of which concieved our daughter. I cant remember how it feels to be properly kissed by my husband or how it feels to make love to him. I am not blameless I am painfully shy and because of previous fidelity issues I find it difficult to instigate intimacy I guess I still feel like if he was happy and attracted to me he'd instigate intimacy. All the while that our relationship is failing he is visiting a variety of different internet sites ranging from porn, to erotica, to chat.....................he looks at these sites everyday so he obviously still has sexual urges and I am well aware how he is aleviating these urges.............which hurts...he'd rather self service than have anything to do with me. I have brought all this up to my husband and he says its just all the stress and that he does love me...............I dont know that I believe that anymore. I guess my question is am I being niave to think things will change or should I just accept that they wont...............am I being niave to think its just internet sites or is it more? is the problem with me because I am shy?............I do try to be aa good wife........I take care of our daughter every night so my husband can sleep, I cook, I clean, I support him in evreything, I love him so much and tell him every day.............since we had our daughter though I see real unconditional love in his eyes when he is with her and it warms my heart.....at the saame time it tears me up inside because I dont think.....in fact I know he has never looked at me that way................any advice would be greatly appreciated............I dont know if theres anything I can do or change to make things better?
I should have probably mentioned I have brought this up to him both the intimacy and the porn etc..............and have been bringing it up for months...........nothing changes. The internet stuff spilled out before and resulted in all types of infidelity............it shattered my confidence so the whole get over it and take initative thing although a good idea is very hard for me...............and I think if maybe he showed some affection it would be easier but he never ever ever touches me or kisses me................on the day our daughter was born he never kissed me


I am a married man and we have a beautiful 19 month old daughter together. We have been together for about 5 years. I also have been married before and have two adult sons 19 & 18. Around three years ago our sex life started dwindling down to about next to nothing. I would get cranky and irritable but initially I wasn't worried & thought it would just pass.

When the frequency of our lovemaking didn't improve I started to begin feeling depressed, unwanted and undesirable. For me sex is not just about me wanting to get my rocks off. For me it is the special feeling of intimacy, being with the person you love, touching, being touched and making the other person feel good.

I tried everything including communicating to my wife how I felt and asking how she felt but for 12 months it seemed like I was the only one trying. Eventually it came to a head and I had a conversation with my wife in which she said she just had a very low sex drive. I said I wish you had of told me that before we got married because I think sex is a very important part of marriage.

We are lucky if we have sex once a month. I feel increasingly unwanted and the last straw was her Dad paid for her and our daughter to go overseas without me for 2 weeks to visit him for his birthday. When she got the money she booked an early morning flight on a Sunday which turned out to be Father's Day. It wasn't a coincidence, she knew when Father's Day was because she had already bought me a present on behalf of our daughter the day before she booked the flight. I have never felt so empty in all my life.

To cut a long story short not having my needs met by my wife & feeling a bit down, unwanted, & undesirable I have visited professional ladies on 4 separate occasions. I indicated to all the ladies that all I wanted was touching, & hand & oral relief and this was provided, with protection. I told the ladies I believe sexual intercourse with someone else other than your wife is cheating & despite the fact that my wife was not meeting my needs I wanted that aspect of sex to remain sacred to my wife and I.

However, one lady against my wishes and towards the end of my visit told me to close my eyes on hopped on to me even though I told her I didn't want actual sex. I was shocked and I didn't want this to happen but strangely I orgasmed whilst she was on top of me but I felt so guilty for letting this happen and it has been eating away at me ever since. I didn't want intercourse to happen but it did.

Is visiting a professional lady for relief without sex when you don't get your needs fulfilled by your wife cheating? Would you consider what happened to me with that lady who sat on me without my consent cheating or perhaps even rape?

I do feel bad but I don't know what to do. If it wasn't for the fact we have a beautiful 19 month old daughter I would have left by now. Yet I am a good Dad and she is a great Mum. Strangely enough we don't fight & I don't want to deny our daughter the right to be brought up by 2 loving parents as I know what being raised by one parent is like.

I'm pretty sure my wife is not cheating on me it's just she has no desire for sex with me. Should I just continue being miserable in a near sexless marriage or is it ok to visit a professional lady for a bit of pampering and relief without sex when required every now and then?

Thanks in advance for any advice or non judgmental constructive criticism :)


I have been with my boyfriend for 1.5 years. We have been renting a house for 9months. I have a 2 year old daughter with another man. My boyfriend has a stable job which he has had for 8 years. He makes twice as much as I do. He also has no children. When we moved in together, it was an understanding that I would pay half of rent and other bills. I financially could afford to do so then. Plus I just wanted to make him happy. But every month it turned into him getting keeping track if he bought $20 more in food than I did. In April of this year I found out I was going to be losing my job in October. Since my hours have been drastically cut at work. I have been struggling to pay my bills that I have outside of the house. He has alot of pointless debts, or will buy pointless things. Like when I told him I would be 50 short on my portion of utilities. He got mad and said well they just won't get paid. That's not an option for me..as being I do have a child who needs a roof over her head and all of that, that comes with that. A few days later he called me at work and told me he had purchased $300 in fireworks. Is it just me or am I stuck in a situation with someone who is selfish. Should I cut my losses and walk away from this situation? I am all about being independent. I worked 2 full time jobs right after I had my daughter for 6 months. I grew up in a house where my father supported the family and my mother worked, so we could have the extra nice things in life. I know times are changing. I am not looking to be a stay at home mom, or looking for a free ride. But he makes so much more than me and claims to love me so much, but yet when I need help the most..he isn't there. Another thing that bothers me is if I try to bring up marriage he ignores me. Or he will tell me someday. But he can't tell me anything else besides that. When I met him, he told me the one thing he wanted was kids and a family. He wanted that more than anything. And now that its right infront of him he doesn't want anything to do with it. I feel cheated. I feel lead on. I feel like I am paying to live with a roommate. With no benefits. We don't have any intimacy. Should I just walk away? Cause the half and half and not having any help is killing me.
My daughter is the best thing that has happened to me. So, she is not an issue. I have learned though I will never live with another man until we are married. When I met my current boyfriend 3 days after talking, he came to my work, picked up my car, changed the oil, washed and cleaned it spotless, filled my gas tank up completely from e, and left a dozen red roses on my seat. Imagine walking out of work to that? He was prince charming. He would do anything for me, up until we moved in together. Then all the stuff stopped. I know people change and put on shows, but the one thing I cannot understand is. How if I say I'll go, he freaks out like he can't live without me, but when I am there, he acts like he could careless. I don't need critiscim about my life choices. Not everyone is perfect.
I am well aware that my daughter is not his child. But he stepped into the daddy role willingly. He is all she has known. I am not asking for him to take care of her. But when he sees me struggling every single month and still not making ends meet..It's becoming a little ridiculous. Especially when he still goes out and spends money like his truck. I never once tried to restrict what he spends his money on. But I am drowning, and in my eyes if you love someone as much as you say, you would do anything for them. I would help him in a heart beat if the roles were reversed. And no we don't have sex. It's a battle to get a kiss from him. Our lease is ending soon and I told him I would just move out and go out seperate ways. He had a nervous breakdown that I wanted to leave him. I don't understand how I need help during these hard times, and the one person who claims to love me so much, can't even be a support system.
I am going to try to get the point across one last time. I am not asking for him to take care of my child. Like a few other people said, when he made the commitment to me and us moving in together, he made the same commitment to my child. I am not asking for him to pay all the bills. If that were the case, he'd be paying my car payment and all of my other expenses. But he isnt. and I have never once asked him to do so. All I am asking for is alittle help until I get back on my feet and in a comfortable situation, seeing how he can afford to help. I find it humorous how guys answering this are the ones who say I am a gold digger or trying to take advantage of someone. Some people are so ignorant. If we were roommates, I would completely be fine and wouldnt be asking for his help. But we aren't. We are supposed to be in a committed relationship. So keep that in mind.


I have been with my husband for 6 years, married for 4. We have 2 beautiful daughters, aged 3.5 and 1 month old. Here is my issue. My husband and I have been having issues for a while. He isn't abusive, and he is a wonderful father, he is just lacking in the emotional and physical department. We never kiss on the mouth(he says it is because I smoke), and we haven't had sex in 1.5 months. I did have a cection a month ago, so we can't have sex anyway. He doesn't even talk to me. I am a stay at home mom, and have been since I was pregnant with our first. We do not have any friends, so he or I don't go anywhere unless we are together. Our life consists of him going to work everyday, me taking care of the girls 24/7, and going to walmart and out to dinner. I can't take this **** anymore. I don't get it, I have lost all of pregnancy weight in 3 weeks, and still I don't even get touched. No, I don't look like I did before I got pregnant 4 years ago, but neither does he. Why wouldn't my husband talk to me or touch me. No, I'm positive he isn't having an affair, and he isn't addicted to porn. He does play the playstation 3 for more than what I would like him to. We fight constantly, mostly about the two dogs. We have 2 boxers that stink up the house so bad. the 8 month old boxer chews on everything and is ruining my house. and I get stuck cleaning it. I have to have a clean house or I freak out. He doesn't care if it is dirty or not. I clean all the time, and he does nothing to help.He has even said that if I wanted to leave go ahead, because he isn't getting rid of dogs. He doesn't understand that me and the girls will be here a hell of alot longer than they will, and he won't have child support on the dogs. I am tired of being sad, crying, and cleaning 24/7. This has been going on for atleast 2 years. The no intimacy is killing me. I have even contemplated an affair to get his attention, but I don't know anyone to have an affair with, that is how bad it is. Should I just not care? He does work 6-3 everyday, provides well for us, and is a great father. I feel like we aren't good together. I will say, we wouldn't be married if I didn't get pregnant with our first, that I'm sure of. What should I do? And would I get custody since I am a stay at home mom? My 1 month old is exclusively breastfed, so she can't be with him. I know he is a great father, but we need to be happy together, or we will never teach our girls a thing.

Additional Details
Just wanted to add, I have smoked since the day I met him, he never had a problem with it, just within the last year. I only smoke 3-5 a day, and only right after I nurse. We are both good looking people, it isn't like we are fat ugly slobs. We should be having sex more often.Atleast kissing and cuddling. Our ages are 23(me) and 27.


I have a very serious situation and it is very complicated but I need to know if I did the right thing.

I am a 33 year old woman. I have four kids ages 14,11,10, and 6. I met a man on myspace a little over 3 years ago, first through email then we formed an extremely close friendship and finally developed into a relationship in October of this past year.

This is a very complicated situation and I am trying not to make it too long, but I do want to make sure to include the important parts.

I am seeing some things that by themselves are not cause for concern but all put together paint a bad picture.

This guy has always been very sweet, seemingly a good dad to his girls. He has done so much for my family and we have literally been inseparable for the last couple of years. Problem is he has developed what I consider to be *too* close of a relationship to my oldest son.

To keep this from getting too long here are the red flags that went up:

1- Before I started spending the night at the home, my oldest son very often did stay there. I did find out that my son 11-12 years old at the time had been sleeping in the bed with my friend, who is 38 now. I was not comfortable with that then and asked them both to stop and they didn't. We had several arguments over this.

My son and his 16 year-old daughter had "inappropriate contact" for lack of a better word and his daughter accused my son (then 13) of "making her do this" and he got arrested and put into all sorts of programs for sex offenders and my son was ordered not to have contact with his family. Obviously this put a serious dent into our relationship, but we decided to work through it. My son was sent to live with his father because I did not "adequately supervise him" and let that incident happen. We both thought that this was normal teenage behavior and unfortunately that it got into the legal system (the girl told a teacher thats how it got out)

Next red flag, he had given me an inactive cell phone for my daughter to use and he did not erase the messages off of it. I opened it to find a message from him to my son that said "good night, I love you. I miss cuddling in bed with you at night"

which leads to the next red flag the man said he had no sex drive and we do not have a physical relationship and he said he does not like intimacy and I accepted that because sex does complicate things but this is a man in his 30's and he claims to not even masturbate.

next red flag his daughter later admitted to everyone she felt guilty about the incident with my son and lied. She seems very preoccupied with sex and with everyone's bodies, which I know is somewhat normal for a 16 year old but not quite to that extent. A week ago she rubbed my 11 year old daughter's breast so I had to break the entire relationship off and report the incident, which has started WWIII around here

I told him that the relationshiop with my son, with all of us had to stop and he was never to contact us again. He said that I can never keep him and my son apart no matter what

Last thing is that I found out last night that this man was investigated for molesting his daughter when she was 4 but case was closed due to lack of evidence.

But this man has been a constant part of my life for all of this time, closer than Ive ever been to anyone in my life. I cannot in my heart believe this could be true even after I look at all the stuff that looks bad. He seems to be such a good guy.

Did I do the right thing to report this? He thinks Im being vindictive because of the relationship ending. The relationship ended because I was seeing things I didnt like.
Thanks for the responses. I am freaking out. In addition to all of this, my mom died two weeks ago and I have no friends and nobody to talk to. I guess I know in my heart even though it literally makes me sick, what the truth is but I am kind of making sure I'm not the only one that sees something wrong with this. He thinks I am "closed minded" well, I am not apologizing to being closed minded on this type of thing. It is wrong in every sense of the word for a man to "cuddle" in bed with a teenage boy. My son isnt even really denying it he just keeps saying he can't "betray" a friendship and "look at what all he has done for us" I am just sick.


I have been with my husband for 6 years, married for 4. We have 2 beautiful daughters, aged 3.5 and 1 month old. Here is my issue. My husband and I have been having issues for a while. He isn't abusive, and he is a wonderful father, he is just lacking in the emotional and physical department. We never kiss on the mouth(he says it is because I smoke), and we haven't had sex in 1.5 months. I did have a cection a month ago, so we can't have sex anyway. He doesn't even talk to me. I am a stay at home mom, and have been since I was pregnant with our first. We do not have any friends, so he or I don't go anywhere unless we are together. Our life consists of him going to work everyday, me taking care of the girls 24/7, and going to walmart and out to dinner. I can't take this shit anymore. I don't get it, I have lost all of pregnancy weight in 3 weeks, and still I don't even get touched. No, I don't look like I did before I got pregnant 4 years ago, but neither does he. Why wouldn't my husband talk to me or touch me. No, I'm positive he isn't having an affair, and he isn't addicted to porn. He does play the playstation 3 for more than what I would like him to. We fight constantly, mostly about the two dogs. We have 2 boxers that stink up the house so bad. the 8 month old boxer chews on everything and is ruining my house. and I get stuck cleaning it. I have to have a clean house or I freak out. He doesn't care if it is dirty or not. I clean all the time, and he does nothing to help.He has even said that if I wanted to leave go ahead, because he isn't getting rid of dogs. He doesn't understand that me and the girls will be here a hell of alot longer than they will, and he won't have child support on the dogs. I am tired of being sad, crying, and cleaning 24/7. This has been going on for atleast 2 years. The no intimacy is killing me. I have even contemplated an affair to get his attention, but I don't know anyone to have an affair with, that is how bad it is. Should I just not care? He does work 6-3 everyday, provides well for us, and is a great father. I feel like we aren't good together. I will say, we wouldn't be married if I didn't get pregnant with our first, that I'm sure of. What should I do? And would I get custody since I am a stay at home mom? My 1 month old is exclusively breastfed, so she can't be with him.
Just wanted to add, I have smoked since the day I met him, he never had a problem with it, just within the last year. I only smoke 3-5 a day, and only right after I nurse. We are both good looking people, it isn't like we are fat ugly slobs. We should be having sex more often.Atleast kissing and cuddling. Our ages are 23(me) and 27.


I love my husband dearly, I think! We have been together for 15 years. We have three children together ages 14, 11 and 5.

9 months ago I found out he had an 18 month affair while I was gong through a very rough time in my life (i became very depressed after losing my nephew-whom we were rasing-losing my grandmother-who lived with us and died in our home and she raised me-and my father/rapist was released from prison after 15 years!!!

I forgave him and even begged him to try to make things work!

Now, life is hell, their is no love or intimacy, no trust, no happiness HERE!!!

I don't want to be alone, but i do not want to live like this!
I do not want my kids to suffer any more!

I asked him to leave and he refuses!

I am on disability and I receive less than a thousand dollars a month!
I have NO where to go, except a shelter or hotel!

He has 7 brothers and sister, none married that he cold go to!!!
He refuses!!!

We have been violent in the past, he shows no love. He lost his job because of the affair, he brought her daughter to our children's school, he snuck our daughter to be with her and her daughter.....

after losing his job, he had a heart attack and now his kidneys are failing!!!

Life is crazy, how do I do what's best for my babies????? What is best???


This article was written by me when I was feeling a little bored...
Would love your comments.

The blurring lines of gender intimacy in social, political and economic spheres is a colossal leap for our society which is still rooted into a patriarchal one. The development fantasia is accompanied with the annoying taunts of evil westernization. But if this westernization ushers economic prosperity through capitalism, gender equality then this western garnishing is more than welcome. If globalization and western antics appear as uber-cool and an epitome of idealness for us, it pinches our fathers as stubby pricks and for our grandfathers as a butcher that is mincing their ideas of ideals.
Teenage signifies a paradigm shift of ideas and likes. It involves the physics and chemistry of our body which undergoes changes that slowly start to reflect in the form of clear observable nuances. The chemistry of nucleus cause nuke wars that can potentially end civilizations, its effects on a human body can only be imagined. Ita��s hard for the teen to handle her new found confusions and curiousness but it is almost equally hard for her parents to gulp down their daughtera��s unnecessary sophistication and a�?feelingsa�? for a school boy. Which is a�?naturala�? for her but that crush soon turns out to be of ephemeral existence. While the sob for a chocolate is replaced by demands for motor wheels, cell phones, unending telephonic conversations and facebook chats the anxious caring minds grapple up these acts as a primary reason for falling grades. The education structure in which they entrusted was now taking away the sanctity of a childa��s innocence. Probable its time they realize that their daughter is not a child anymore.
a�?We only want your good.a�?
a�?Yes maa I know that but I dona��t think this facebook profile will do any good to my gradesa�?
a�?Do you think that any successful person would indulge in such non-sense internet activities?a�?
a�?I know many....a�? but for mom it was a rhetorical question.
So here I am instead of watching the Splitsvilla(A tv show) finale, penning down these words. Well it was for my own good probably. I can see my mother from here thinking as she many a times does. Is she doing nothing but singing a dirge for that sounded to her daughter like a crass cacophony.
There is no solution to pacify these clashes of morals, but highlighting these differences can certainly help each side in burgeoning a loving and understanding relationship


Me and my cousin recently found ourselves in quite a situation.. My cousin has always lived way out of state...since young i know him as both of our family are very close..two years back he had a very bad break up with his girlfriend...so he was very depressed and broke..so i offered my kindness to him..and past three years..We talked on the phone almost every night for two years.. and also Visit each other during holidays..we both were so comfortable talking to each other we discuss about anything under the sun....he was like the father I wish I could have had. He seemed to understand the emotional turmoil I was going through.. He understood my past and how I felt about some things, we have VERY similar world views.. soon he was back to normal and lead a happy life, and helped me out in my probs...after my high school i went to continue my college in his country...we spent so much time together before on the phone..now together.. we both share common interest and enjoy each other companion very much..during my sch break i went n stay in his house...i was sharing his room...since young i know him so hugging n kissing him was common, sometimes in times of depression i have slept on his lap..one Night both of us watching movie in his room n i was hugging him..suddenly my cousin hug me tight n i fely so nice to b in his warmth...from tat they on wards we both slept on the same bed hugging each other...but soon we took or relationship to the intimacy level.. till now we are very close and be together but we never discuss about it.. guess i'm in love with him! and think he is also...I know many are going to read this and probably think, oh she's just a teenager, what does she know about love and i'm in scent? But to those out there who understand, I DO love him.Two people who have never much been satisfied with their lives until we found each other.. Yet, still, I do not know what to do about this situation. Do we go for it? Keep it a secret? Move away?. And furthermore.. Is it weird for a teenage girl to be in love with a man who is 12 years elder! i'm 19 yrs old an he is 31... he had NEVER done anything to suggest that he loved me as more than just his self-proclaimed god daughter.. i'm worried to confess to him because it is my strongest belief that he would have NEVER pursued such a relationship with me on his own. Please help me make sense of this? I don't know what to think about this situation.. And I feel so scared of the future. i really love him very much! and want him by mmy sideforever! bt nw he is kinda avoiding me as he is aafraidtat our family might knew abt tat! they way he behave really hurt me cuz he dun even want sit with me alone to watch movie in the living room! i having a doubt tat he used me n w dumping me!
when i talk to him i cant talk to him directly abt it,he say he dun understand wat i'm talking n he change the topic! presently is nw very busy engage with his work, so we hv no time to sit n talk privately!


my husband and i have been married for alittle over two years. i found out i was pregnant at 18 and was married two weeks later.
When we first met (i had a boyfriend) but i thought he was so d*** hot.
after an interesting two years i ended up moving in withhim in his apartment. (we were intimate almost everyday at this point) he was an alcoholic, drinking over a fith a day. part of me thinks thats what i fell in love with. i was a teenager and he was always having fun. no matter where we were we were always having fun together. even sitting at the mall before all the stores opend just to sit on the couches and strike up random conversations with people. life was great. ( he maintained his job and i maintained mine)
his mother was getting a divorce and bought a house and he went to stay with her. and help her with bills and whatnot. I bought my own apartment and had a deadbeat for a roommate(my hubbys friend) who stole from me and never paid rent. I lied to my room mate and told him we got evicted and signed of on the lease (which is not cheap people) but anyway i moved in with him at his moms but while moving in we found out i was pregnant. we decided to get married and have the baby. My pregnancy was rough, i had to have two surgeries while pregnant and still had my beautiful baby girl at 8 pounds and 10 oz. i had my first surgery at 4 months pregnant. and heres where the intimacy slows to a halt. i figured it was because i was pregnant.Two weeks after i had my daughter i had mastitus and had another surgery. and it seems like ever since thenthe first surgery. we dont have sex. we do on occasion less than twice a week. sometimes only once in two weks. he left for bct when my daughter was 10 moths old and we diddnt see eachother for 6 months and now he is leaving for iraq for 12 moths. (he stopped drinking and smoking for almost a year now. the alchol dissappeared when i had the baby,) i guess i just want to know how to get back the sex life we had. hes still an amazing husband and father but nothing i have tried to "spice things up" has worked. He used to work thirds and that was his excuse b4 and now its that he has to get up early. ive tried being dominate, ive tried everything i can think of. i apologise this is all mispelled and a big jumbled mess but any advice would b amazing.
my baby is happy and healthy... why would u think otherwise...?!?!
Thank you angibee that helped.


My father cheated on my mother with a girl who was about the same age as me (~21 at the time). He was never really involved in our life anyway and my parents share no intimacy but what he did killed me inside and made me fearful. On a psychological level, what impact does a cheating parent have on an adult child?


My wife and I have been married for 11 years now with 2 daughters. But lately things haven't been that great. Both my wife and I had very successful careers but I alone was laid off a few months ago and finding work has been hard. Still unemployed collecting unemployment. Ever since I was laid off I haven't been the same. Our communication with one another has gone by the wayside along with sexual intimacy. We have both said some things recently that were hurtful. To make a long story short. She had mentioned why don't you go spend some time with your folks for a couple of weeks and clear your head. I thought about entertaining the idea. But decided I didn't want to be cause my folks live out of state. So I asked a friend if I could stay with him for a couple of weeks. So that is what I did. Now I regret doing it because now she won't let me move back in and decided to move to a different address. (Somewhere cheaper that she could afford by herself). Because now she thinks that I was giving up and leaving her and the kids. Now that we have been living separately for over a month. Now we spend time with each other quite frequently so that I can spend some time with the kids as a family and even stay the night when she asks. She says she doesn't want a divorce but just a break to be friends for now and a father to the kids and she just wants me to be happy. I don't know whether to give up or keep trying. I am still in love her and physically attracted to her. Also our 12th Anniversary is coming up.


My wife and I have been together about 3 years. Married for just over 2. Both of us have been in a relationship previously where the other person was unfaithful. She had a unfaithful husband before. While I was in the Marine Corps and deployed to Iraq I had a unfaithful fiance. My wife joined the Army and I expressed my concern and fear that she would get weak and cheat on me and I don't know how I could handle that. She assured me that she could never hurt me like that and never will. While in AIT (not even 6 months after joining the army) she slept with another soldier several times while I was at home taking care of my step daughter and the daughter her and I have together.

She lied about it for a few months before she finally told me. Now that I know she seems more concerned about how it looks to everyone else then rather how much it has damaged our marriage. She has told me "I need to move on" and one point even told me to "grow a pair of balls and get over it. I ****** another guy, big woop" and "It was just a ****, it didn't mean anything".

We are in marriage counseling now and she says she's sorry but it's always followed up with a justification or reason why it happened. She says it was a stupid mistake that will never happen again but knowing she also cheated on her ex husband for him cheating on her, I'm not so sure if she will not cheat on me again if she gets mad.

I feel vexed. I don't know if I should get out of the marriage so I can focus on my daughter or try to make it work. I feel I am trying so hard to make it work. I've been doing so much more for her than I did before I found out she cheated on me and also doing the "homework" our counselor gives us. She seems to put very little effort if ANY into trying to reassure me or help me get over this issue.

Valentines Day almost felt like the last straw. I surprised her by getting her a V-Day card, putting ribbons, red and white tape, and balloons all in her car while she was doing a field exercise with her unit. She went to her car and said she really appreciated it. Well she has had a funny way of showing it. She said it made her feel very good and special but there was absolutely nothing returned to me. I guess I was expecting the same kind of kindness from her. On V-Day night I was unexpectedly denied sex (as I am a lot of nights) but this night I thought all my efforts and everything I have done would warrant some kind of returned appreciative intimacy or something. I instead of shocked with her "You think because you surprised me everything is ok? That was an act of kindness LONG over due". Like I owed her! I have not been a perfect husband but I have never cheated on my wife.

I have stayed with her for marriage, for our daughter and my step daughter. If I do leave I feel both of us will be more miserable than we already are because of this. If I leave my step daughter goes to her criminal drug addicted father (who some how seems to stay out of jail) and I would have a difficult time supporting myself and my daughter. Ever since I was discharged from the Marine Corps it has been a battle to find a good paying job. I was wounded in Iraq, shot in my shoulder and amortarr sentshrapnell through me mostly knee. I have been trying to go to school but it's very hard to go to school, raise 2 children alone and work to pay the current bills.

I want to stay with my wife. I want my family to work. I feel like progress is so slow I have no idea what to do about this. How does one move on? How do I forgive? I've read books, letters, articles and it says "do it feeling this way?". How do you control your feelings? How do you just detach yourself so you can "heal"? All these questions. I feel so confused!

The thought of being apart from my wife is just as painful as being with her now. I feel like I'll never be able to let go or move on until I know without a doubt that my wife really does love me. I don't believe her when she says it now. I feel like I'm about to walk off a cliff. I know the edge is there and yet I keep walking toward it because I love my wife that much.


My past relationships were never good. My first boyfriend was not in-love with me, I think he only wanted to touch my body and get pleasure out of me. I was 15 years old when we started going out. I came to the U.S. and he stayed in my homeland. Couple of months later I found out that he was going out with a girl that I knew. Couple of years later he came to this country we reconnected again and try it but it didna��t work out and we lost contact. It took me years to get over him; I think he was the only guy I can truly say that I was in love with. There was no intimacy involved.
My second relationship was with my oldest daughtera��s father. In this relationship I feel that I was a sexual pleasure object too, I even got pregnant by this guy being a virgin, without having intercourse, but once I found out I was pregnant we got intimate. I went to live with him to his parents house and then to an apt. I broke up with him because he was cheating on me with another girl, so I left him when I was about 4-5 months pregnant and never went back with him and went to live with my parents. I want to say that this guy and I almost got marry, but we didna��t.
My third relationship was with my 2 other kidsa�� father. This one I also believe it was more for sexual pleasure. When I met him he told me that he was divorced and even showed me the paper, but he neglected to tell me that he had re-married few months later after his divorce. This relationship last a long time, but I got tired of waiting for him to get divorce (since he promised me he was going to do that) so I decided to end the relationship a lot of time, but he always convinced me to give him a chance and I always did. Between the break up I dated couple of guys here and there but no good results from them. The only way I thought I could get rid off him was marrying somebody else, so I went on a vacation trip to my homeland and met this guy who was younger then me and in couple of weeks of knowing him we got married the day before I came back to the U.S. the relationship didna��t work out because we didna��t know each much and also because it was a long distance relationship, so he end up breaking up with me and putting the divorce.
Then I met my current husband; I met him thru some mutual friends, I wasna��t so thrill about him but I saw him as an opportunity to have a decent guy in my life who respected me. We lived together for a while, but during our relationship I had 3 affairs with 3 married men (the first one was an executive at my job in the 90a��s; he was married and was only interesting in casual intimacy with me. This ended when I left the company. The other one was two years ago with a younger guy, who happened to be married too and ended when he left back to his country, and finally the last one was with another executive from my current job who is also married, but separated from his wife and in the process of divorce (this actually will be his 3 divorce) and he ended the relationship almost two months ago). My husband dona��t know all these, but unfortunately he is not an affectionate person, so I was on the search for that affection I always crave for and never got it. So at this point in my relationship with are separating and Ia��m going to therapy to end this vicious cycle of my emotional needs. I still miss a lot the last guy that I was with. He was very affectionate with me and poured so much a�?lovea�? over me, but Ia��m still struggling with the breakup and it took a toll on me. The stranger thing about this last breakup is that he was more into me than I was into him, there were no sexual contact through out the relationship it was more hugging and kissing than anything else, this lasted almost a year, but he definitely made me feel so, so special. I still have all his emails and love letters that he sent me and out of nowhere he decided to quit. I was shock by this; I was definitely no expecting this at all. I think he realized that I was an insecure person with low self esteem and very jealous; I think I scared him away. Many times I tried to run away from this relationship and he never let me, he always convinced me to stay. But the hardest thing is that we work in the same company, so it will probably take me longer to get over this breakup. But there is something that I can understand, why if I was not in love him, this is bothering so much? Anyway, like I said before Ia��m going to therapy not just for this but also to help me with my self esteem and my fears. I have improved a lot, and there are days that I feel very positive about things, but any little thing that happen tend to affect me and I get frustrated. People are starting to notice something different in me, especially when I speak to them, I sound more secure. Ia��m doing a lot of reading, I have this craving for knowledge of the human behavior and self help information, so as soon as I finish doing my day to day routine, I jumped into my bed to read to re-enforced
(this was left out)
what I have learned. Just as an FYI, Ia��m a 46 years old woman with a well fit body; people tell me that I look like if Ia��m 35. I have always taken good care of me; I guess my ex-low self esteem situation forced me to always try to look good. Ia��m very fashionable and love to have my hair well put. The reason why Ia��m mentioning this, is because Ia��m constantly receiving compliments from men and women, but I didna��t believe them because of my emotional issues, but thank God thata��s already changing.
This for Brandi:
since I don't know how to post a comment underneath your answer I'm doing it here.

about your question, he was just brushing there was no penetration.


I'm finding it impossible to meet a good looking girl who would want to be with a guy like me. I've been told I'm "hot" and "attractive", but I don't feel that way about myself.

1. I'm a 32 year old single father, seperated for 3 years and soon to finalize my divorce. My daughter is 4 1/2 years old. I'm 5' 10" and 175 lbs...I've been told I resemble Ben Affleck (narrow face, brown eyes and hair)

2. I work full time (software test engineer), and care for my daughter 3 out of 5 nights during the week, and all weekend. I usually get Tuesday and Thursday nights off.

3. My good friends all moved out of town, and my friends at work are pretty much all married with kids and settled down. I have no wingman. I have no "scene" that I belong to.

4. I'm not very rich, and because of the seperation I'm paying child support (even though I have my kid 60% of the time each week), and she has the house so I've been living with my parents until we sell the house and I get my cut. I can't afford to move out yet.

Luckily, the child support obligation will terminate soon...thanks to my lawyer, that will be like getting a raise. The soon to be ex can't justify receiving it when I do most of the work.

5. I have an A.S. in Information Technology, but cannot afford to further my education at this time. I want to go to school to chase down my bachelors eventually, though.

6. I live in the Syracuse NY area

7. I'm fairly shy when meeting new people, but I'm alot of fun once I get comfortable with people.

8. I have psoriasis...not too obvious when I'm clothed, but the thought of intimacy and physical contact make me nervous. It's an embarrassing problem and I feel like it's a major turn off. I just don't feel at all attractive...I feel like I'm gross and unappealing to any attractive women.

I guess I just wonder how I'm supposed to even "try" when I have so little time and money. I feel pretty ridiculous going out anywhere all by myself. I am kinda picky regarding looks and appearance...despite my own flaws, but I really don't like girls that I find unattractive or are overweight.

I'm also so nervous based on what happen with my marriage. I haven't dated or had "relations" with anyone since the last time with my wife (yes, I'm very horny). I'm not too hopeful that I will find love again, or that it will last. I don't ever want to feel the pain I went through when my wife basically dumped me. Not too easy to get over this fear.

So, any advice?


what are the different levels of trust, support, intimacy, confidence and compassion in these two relationships.

Offcourse there are exceptions and it depends, but remember that any such question is aimed about general people, general habbits and instincts of the two genders, and the uniqueness of these two relationships, plus the mainstream culture, customs and perceptions.


My better half has been having issues with fidelity. Although I have not actually caught him cheating, we have had ongoing issues with internet dating sites and porn addiction (where he chooses it over intimacy with me).

The first time I caught him signed up to dating sites, I made it clear that, if we weren't married with a child, I would have left him. Our daughter is now 1.5 years old.

That was over a year ago. I now caught him signing up to dating sites and searching for women in our area again.

I have told him that I want a divorce. Although we're still living together (no other options), I told him we are separated, as far as I'm concerned. However, I did say that I am willing to see a pastor or counsellor, as a last effort to save our marriage, mostly because of our daughter.

The infidelity isn't the only issue. I think we may just be incompatible. We have different goals and priorities. I think we're both good people with the best of intentions. But our goals are so different that we've both compromised alot, to the point where we both feel that we've sacrificed too much of ourselves. We feel that we are dragging each other down, while at the same time putting all our energy into supporting each other. I honestly have serious doubts about whether there is anything left to save, and I'm okay with ending things (other than the effect of divorce on our daughter).

At the same time, though, he is a wonderful husband and father. We are best friends. Everyone thinks we have the perfect marriage because we get along so well.

If we're going to reconcile after this, I need to really feel that he's a changed person. I refuse to live my life feeling insecure and paranoid. He says everyone makes mistakes, he's still a good person, and he deserves forgiveness since he's apologised. I'm sorry, but people don't change overnight. He's only sorry that he got caught. If we're going to reconcile, he has ALOT of changing to do. But maybe we can get some outside help that will allow us to work through all our differences.

Any thoughts? thank you SO much in advance!
Has he taken you up on your offer of talking to someone together as a couple?
-Yes, he says he's willing.

Has he told you he is finished and that you are his priority and that he wants a life with you?
-He continue to insist that he had no intentions of cheating on me and that he only signed up to the internet dating sites out of boredom. He says that he's never cheated on me, never will, and he feels that it was wrong of him to go on those sites.

But I've heard this all before and I think he's really have to go through some kind of turning point in his life to really convince me that he's changed.
Mindlessfun: You are making too many assumptions. You might be surprised to find out that we have frequent, good and interesting sex. It is almost always me who initiates. I am in good shape, very sexy, very confident, and I enjoy sex very much.


To find incestuous love stories intriguing or erotic? Perhaps the intrigue is in the taboo or the type of intimacy already reached?

This could be sister/brother, father/daughter, father/son, etc.


I think it would be erotic in hypothetical situations (like myths and stories), but in reality quite disturbing...


I am a single mother of an almost 5 yr old daughter. Her father has recently gotten married. She talks all of the time about how she wants her step-mom to go away because she wants to just be with her daddy (normal)...the thing is, she isn't as close to him as she is to me. So if I were to find someone and marry, it would only affect her even more. I HATE the idea of that...I do not want "getting on with my life" to affect her in a negative way. She and I are so close that people comment on it constantly, how did I do it, asking me for advice...things like that. We just mesh, she and I. She knows I'm the mommy (aka boss) so it's not one of those "friends instead of the parent" things...I've somehow managed and ended up being her best friend while maintaining my parental status in her life. It's great!! I love her and adore her and cherish our relationship so much. So here's the other twist to my question...beyond me dating again hurting her...it SCARES me!! Let's face it, someone else being around inevitably takes time away from her and our one on one personal intimacy. It would rock our whole world and turn it upside down. And so in addition to not wanting to do that to her...it scares the heck out of ME! I do not want anything to interrupt our relationship, how she can completely rely on me focusing on her...how our time together and the sheer amount of laughing we do will diminish when 'he' enters the picture. I light up her room and she does mine...and it is because of our closeness, our focus on one another. As she says, I'm her "favorite and" her "best"...and I don't want to do anything to lessen that. I'm a bit torn up over the thought. She and I talked about it the other day and she started to cry...because she wants a brother and/or a sister and when I told her then I'll have to get married for that to happen she just sobbed saying she didn't want that. And I had to hide the fact that I was tearing up too... Have you been in a similar situation as a single parent? Someone help me with your thoughts, please? This, I should specify, isn't just about her...it's got a whole lot to do with MY fear of someone coming into our situation lessening our closeness! How close she and I are is my most proud accomplishment! I don't want to choose spending time with someone else (or someone else included) over spending our special time together.

Also...can you tell me how old you are and if you have children in your response to this post? :)


I am a single mother of an almost 5 yr old daughter. Her father has recently gotten married. She talks all of the time about how she wants her step-mom to go away because she wants to just be with her daddy (normal)...the thing is, she isn't as close to him as she is to me. So if I were to find someone and marry, it would only affect her even more. I HATE the idea of that...I do not want "getting on with my life" to affect her in a negative way. She and I are so close that people comment on it constantly, how did I do it, asking me for advice...things like that. We just mesh, she and I. She knows I'm the mommy (aka boss) so it's not one of those "friends instead of the parent" things...I've somehow managed and ended up being her best friend while maintaining my parental status in her life. It's great!! I love her and adore her and cherish our relationship so much. So here's the other twist to my question...beyond me dating again hurting her...it SCARES me!! Let's face it, someone else being around inevitably takes time away from her and our one on one personal intimacy. It would rock our whole world and turn it upside down. And so in addition to not wanting to do that to her...it scares the heck out of ME! I do not want anything to interrupt our relationship, how she can completely rely on me focusing on her...how our time together and the sheer amount of laughing we do will diminish when 'he' enters the picture. I light up her room and she does mine...and it is because of our closeness, our focus on one another. As she says, I'm her "favorite and" her "best"...and I don't want to do anything to lessen that. I'm a bit torn up over the thought. She and I talked about it the other day and she started to cry...because she wants a brother and/or a sister and when I told her then I'll have to get married for that to happen she just sobbed saying she didn't want that. And I had to hide the fact that I was tearing up too...

Have you been in a similar situation as a single parent?
Someone help me with your thoughts, please?
This, I should specify, isn't just about her...it's got a whole lot to do with MY fear of someone coming into our situation lessening our closeness! How close she and I are is my most proud accomplishment! I don't want to choose spending time with someone else (or someone else included) over spending our special time together.


A few years ago I met a nice gentleman just a few years older than me. He used to be my supervisor's boss at my last job (I quit it though).
Anycase we have been very close friends for awhile. The only reason I wouldn't call us bf/gf is because this guy refuses to have sex with me or even take off his clothes in front of anyone unless absolutely necessary. The reason is he has very severe burn scars throughout his body (very disfigured under his clothes).

I'm currently a single mother and I know this guy is in love with me and always talking about marriage. I know he would be a great father and gets along great with my daughter (she loves him). He would also be a good provider and he's already my best friend.

...But I'm still not sure I can or should marry someone who can't or won't have physical intimacy with me. I'm not even interested in sex anymore- but I'm still not sure if a good marriage can survive without physical intimacy?
I should probably add that he has a very handsome face. And I am attracted to him. I THINK I love him. It's just the intimacy problem.


fully controlled by them in each and every decisions in life.on my sister's marriage my husband was not able to attend his father and mother came and give some amount from my husband's account but the present was named by his father and my parents gave the amount back on his sister's marriage.and i felt that i didn't give anything for my sister.and i am having a daughter of ninemonth and they dont call her by the name i gave her instead they call her by the pet name their daughter gave her.and my sister in law is someone who always needs physical closeness like keeping feet over my husband like that intimacy i feel akward on this infront of me. and i told my husband my daughter needs good example infront of her so pls avoid this.and my mother in law says that he has to kiss hug and all stuff to his sister. and mil now a days not talks to me but onlyto my hus.she is so interfearing that she asks why to give babyfoods no need she dont want my husband to spend much money on us.wht to do?
my husband is having good job and he is paying
my husband is having good job and he is paying


my husband is constantly making phone calls on the bathroom or the bedroom, i found females phone number on the call logs of the cell phone, he has named me another woman's name while i was pretending to be asleep, the mileage in car in a less than mile trip is usually way more than that. once i called a suspicious tel number and in fact it was a woman when i asked her if she knew my husband she said that my husband was her brother.. and is not true he doesn't have any sisters, and to top it off all the suspicious calls are in the middle of the night when he is suppose to be working, when i confront him with my findings he blames his brother, our intimacy is almost non-existent, he is constanly criticizing me telling me to loose weight and he will not get along with my 4yr old baby girl he is always ignoring her and rejecting any signs af affections from her behalve to him , and he is constanlty accusing me of having an affair with my daughters father. what should i do , please help!!!


If you have a grown up daughter i believe from the age of 12 year, ladies menestrial cirlce begins, now during perhaps intimacy with your husband or wife, sometime the bedsheet becomes messed up with the mans .... which of cause are very active upto 36hours. Your wife/husband used the towel perhaps to wipe herself or the men to cover themselve if perhaps they want to use the bathroom, they just roll the towel around there waist (like velvinus of Smackdown,"hallo ladies") some of the men sperm perhabs might be attached to the towel, or if the wife wipes herself. If the same towel is left at the bathroom hunged up, not washed, your daughter who is Mp get hold of the towel and wipe herself with it, what are the chances that she can't be pregnant and the father be accused of rape of a child since DNA ditermined that the dad was the father of his daughter son yet under all means, they never slept together or had sex with the daughter. This had happened to my old freind
The daughter actually is 16years now, never had sex, and it was proven that she was a virgin. Although the father was humiliated, he beared and stood up for the truth, the daughter stood up for the truth that they never ever had sex. Being that she was still a virgin, the prosecutors and jury were all on deadlock on these case.So they asked the girl about her daily habits when the parents are there and the girl explained that she sometimes do as mother does, sit on her bed, do all the make up but made a mistake to sprayed herself with a spray deodrant on her private area and she felt uncomfortable with the spray, she took her moist dad bath towel and wiped herself only to realize she had MP which she actuallyput blood stains on the bed but the father was at work. The mother was at yard working on the garden as he admitted that her daughter explained the effect of he dauntrant and what she did plus messing her bedsheet. ever since that day the daughter kept on complain be uncomfortable


I have been married to my wife for over 7 years we have had our ups and downs we have 4 kids 2 from previous relationships of hers 2 that are mine right now i think we are gouing threw our worse part of our marriage were lots of infidelity issues have come up wat sould i do if

1.if i find condoms in a dresser drawer i confront her and she tells me they were given to her by hospital were my kids were born at but a few days later i find a reciept with a purchase for condoms on it

2. our intimacy is none

3. i find letters in my bedroom from a friend of the family who visits us every day directed to my wife mentioning that my youngest daughter who is 5 months old is his i confront her about it and she tells me she doesnt know why he would right the letters

4. just this past fathers day i find a text message on my wife phone to the family friend telling him happy fathers day wth love from miranda who is my youngest

i feel like she is doesnt care i dont know what to think


a yr ago i have been diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder and have been in therapy and ssri's since then.
my wife and i have been in marriage councelling roughly the same time and additionally seeing therapists and councellers. i walk on eggshells everyday (for 15yrs now). my wife left a trail of detsroyed professional and personal relationships leading back to 2 counts of rape in her early childhood. her father who has been a long standing alcoholic passed away late last year.
we tried everything from 'languages of love' which only i end up speaking, sensory integration work, only her needs are met now.
there is no intimacy, no kindness and no support from her since the conception of our daughter 2 yrs ago.
i wake up to her shouting at the kids at the breakfast table. she spends all time at work and never joins our activities.
everything points to bpd and i sit between divorce, custody battle or hoping for another 15 yrs for things to change.
this is the only love i know .....


I am 22 weeks pregnant, with a huge belly and for some time i hate people putting their hand on my belly. Even my 6-years old daughter... But when it's the father doing it, I feel really good and cosy, special. Maybe it's because I feel it as a touch of intimacy?! People mean well and are happy for me, but I can't stand it!! Does it happen to you too??


I am currently seperated from my daughter's father. I seem to be having a hard time letting go, because of the intimacy coparenting creates. I just wondered in anyone else has been in this situation, and if so, how did you cope?


If youa��re a mother would you take your son and if youa��re a father, then your daughter? Assuming all children are of legal age to go. I know two separate families who are fine with this. Theya��re families that are very open about nakedness, sexuality, and intimacy. The kind of family where the son is able to talk to his mother about most anything.


My husband and I have been married for 2 years, we have been together for 4 years. We have a 2 year old daughter and he is a wonderful father. My husband and I have not been intimate in over 2 years. He says it is because I gained so much weight (30lbs) during my pregnancy, I am 5ft 6in (I was135lbs before) and he isn't attracted to me anymore. Needless to say this has put a major strain on our relationship. We go through the usual fights and make-ups like any marriage but I recently found out that his father cheated on, and divorced his mother because she gained weight during her pregnancy with both my husband and his twin brother. I have asked him if he still loves me and he assures me that he does, he spends time with me and is always very sweet, the only thing that is missing is our intimate relationship. I have recently lost over 20lbs but still that is not enough. Should I shut my mouth and live in a sex-less marriage? Or, should I give him an ultimatum....Intimacy or get out?

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